So, I'm going to Scotland in just a few short months and the title of this blog about sums it up for me. "I'm undone, my heart sings a new song." We sang that song during worship yesterday and my heart was so overwhelmed with emotion as finally there was a title to the season that I've been in. To be completely blunt and honest with you, I've struggled with the fact that the Lord has called me to Scotland. If you would see my list, there are countries such as Haiti, India, Kenya, Israel that I feel called to. Not once have I uttered the country Scotland, but there's now a plane ticket with my name on it!
Here's the beginning of the story: A few months back I was asked to pray about being one of the team leaders for Scotland. My heart immediately jumped at the fact that it is known as one of the two youth dominant trips here at RiverStone and well, leading youth on mission trips is my hearts passion (and the Lord has had me on a two year sabbatical when it comes to missions). I still couldn't get over the fact that it was to Scotland. So I sought counsel, confessed my heart is for third world and disaster relief and was told that Scotland possessed a spiritual poverty that I'd most likely never experienced before and to keep praying. With that, I retreated to my prayer cave and came out a team leader for the Scotland mission trip.
A few weeks down the road, the team formed and we had one youth on the team, and my heart struggled even more. Why Lord? Don't you remember my hearts passion? As if I had to remind Him of how He had created me and the passions He had put in my heart.
So...here we are. 2 months and 5 days before we leave and let me just tell you of the work that He has done. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE OUR TEAM. I love the leadership team (there are 4 of us) that He has me a part of. I laugh at least once daily thanks to the emails we exchange. I love just bottom line being a part of a leadership team...it's nice to not be doing this alone! I love the way He's hand picked and hand crafted our team. It started really with a group of people that I didn't even know and I love how all of our personalities just seem to "fit." We're a team of 21...mainly 20 somethings--with a few of us that have crossed the threshold of 30.
All this to say, I'm undone. I'm undone because I've laid down my list of where I think I should be going. I've allowed the Lord to be the purchaser of my plane tickets and the ordainer of my steps. I'm ready to let the words of Smith Wigglesworth be the reality of my life, "Are you ready for the Lord to have His choice, so that His will and purpose will be yours, so that the "Amen" of His character may sweep through your very nature, so that you may know as you have never known before that this is the day of the visitation between you and Him?"
With that, I'm undone....my heart sings a new song...that song is for you, Scotland.
(**Part two, with details of our Scotland trip to come tomorrow!)