I'm in a mood to remember....and remember is what I do well. It drives Robert crazy the types of things I'm able to remember. And this week I'm remembering what we were doing this week, last year. It was this week that I spent praying and fasting asking the Lord for peace and confirmation about having children. Now, with my 6 week old baby, I'd like to take this moment and repost our story of Little Hoot. The Lord is so good to us and I just want to rejoice in who He is and how faithful He is. So remember I'll do.....and share of His faithfulness.
He is good.
Our Story of Little Hoot
(Originally shared in September 2010.)
Hi. My name is Kristin. Once upon a time I was in full time ministry, living in Coastal Georgia, believing that I had given up the desire to have a husband to be fully devoted to what the Lord had for me. Insert Robert. Jesus took me by surprise and landed the man I would one day call husband into my life. I now saw a future with a man running side by side together in ministry. I could now picture marriage. I still could not picture being a mom...being a mom and in full time ministry just didn't seem like a reality to me. Robert started pursuing me...and of course in the process the subject of children arose. We spent a week a part fasting and praying (we already didn't live in the same town, the week was spent having no communication). Robert wanted kids, me I couldn't picture them in my life. At the end of the week, the conclusion was me confessing to Robert that I lived a life of surrender to Jesus. I would not out right not have children if that was something the Lord desired for me. With that, we moved forward and were engaged a few months after that and married just 7 months later.
A little fun factor you should know about our relationship is that Jesus reveals things to the two of us at the same time. In the beginning, we were friends, working together, both desiring nothing more than the youth of Richmond Hill to fall madly in love with Jesus. In a blink of an eye, our relationship changed overnight as the Lord gave us dreams the exact same night of what He desired for us. Newly married, the Lord showed us the exact same day that our time in Richmond Hill was coming to a close. We weren't even together when He showed us. Made for interesting conversation around the dinner table that evening.
Fast forward 2.5 years. One evening it just came over both of us, the word "surrender." And we both knew what it meant. We were to surrender our control over the timing of having children to the Lord. We were so sure we'd heard the voice of the Lord, we called the doctor the next morning and made an appointment. We went, went on prenatal vitamins and was given the instructions, do not start trying for two months. We were just so excited about this new adventure the Lord had for us. After the doctors appointment, we found ourselves at Target perusing the baby aisles. We both loved a set we found that was called "Little Hoot." From that point on any time we mentioned anything about a baby, we referred to it as "Little Hoot."
Just a few weeks later I went into complete freak out mode. As mentioned above, I was never the girl that just longed for the day that I was a mom. And through events in my life I thought I had surrendered the desire of ever having a husband with that the thoughts of having children. I believed the lie for several years that I could not be in full time ministry and be a mom. I was finally okay with being a wife in full time ministry, but still could not picture being a mom. Robert, being the fully supportive husband that he is, calmed me down and said we don't have to do this now, we can wait. I still could not shake the fact that we heard the Lord, so I went on a fast and sought Him with everything that I had. At the end of my fast, I was in our prayer room crying out to the Lord--asking Him to please speak to my heart--and all of a sudden an owl was outside our prayer room window "hooting." Peace came over me immediately and all I could tell the Lord was "okay." (Side note-I've since seen the owl in our neighborhood, but have never heard it outside our window again).
Because the Lord is just so good to me...Following the week of hearing the owl outside our prayer room window, I was at youth group. Side note...at this point no one knew we were pursuing trying to have a family in the near future...A lady in our church was there to share with the youth and she started praying for me. After she prayed she looked straight into my eyes and said, "I just see you in full time ministry, wholeheartedly running after the Lord with a baby on your hip." Oh, my Beloved. Than you for speaking to my heart!
With peace in my heart, knowing I was living a life surrendered to the Lord, at the end of our two month waiting period, we pursued having children. A little fact of my life you should know is that I have been told for over 10 years that I would not be able to get pregnant on my own. I have never been "normal" when it comes to female things. On top of that there is infertility on my side and Robert's side. All "odds" were against us. Robert and I knowing this, just surrendered and said, "in your timing Lord". Of course, we did spend time praying and "breaking off" anything that doctor's had spoken over me all these years. Jesus is bigger than any diagnosis.
In June we started trying. In July I'm in Scotland and I had hit a wall of fatigue like none other. I knew back to back Summer Camps would be hard, but I've been doing youth ministry for seven years and knew the Lord could sustain me. But this fatigue was something I could not shake. I retreated to my sleeping bag every afternoon and would plead with the Lord to give me strength. I started getting nausea in the mornings, but nothing a piece of peanut butter toast couldn't dismiss. Robert and I were communicating only by email and gchat for those two weeks, and I would tell him I think I'm pregnant and he would in return say, there's no way. I asked him whether he believed me or not, to have a pregnancy test waiting on me when I got home.
July 27th came and my hubby was waiting for me at the airport. He had a pregnancy test waiting for me at home and it's the first thing I did upon walking in the door. The result was positive. Robert said, take another one. Same result as the first. Still in disbelief (we thought we had a lot of faith, but really hadn't been trying that long, and thought there was no way) we went to Publix and Robert bought several tests, all different brands. All the tests he had me take were positive...still in disbelief, Robert took one...just to make sure these things were working (yes, I just said Robert took one). We headed to bed that night with Robert asking me to please take another one first thing in the morning. The next morning, I sent him a text at work, "same result as last night." I then called the doctor.
Our doctor was going on vacation, so they couldn't get us in for 2 weeks and thanks to me being so "not normal" there was no way of knowing if I were 6 weeks pregnant or 11....and we'd have to wait two weeks to find out. Within the next hour, our doctor called us and said come see me tomorrow. So we did. The only thing they did was an ultrasound to confirm....and in that one quick moment, on July 29th, we heard the heartbeat and the look on Robert's face was one I will never forget. He finally believed me. We were 6 weeks, 5 days pregnant.
And that's our story of "Little Hoot." What began as a liking of a baby set at Target turned into the voice of the Lord and surrendering to His perfect plan, that I now know includes me in full time ministry and being a mom. We are convinced more than ever, since we thought we couldn't get pregnant and we did so quickly that this is God's perfect plan for our lives and this child is ordained by Him. We feel honored that the Lord would choose us to raise a "Little Hoot" to be a mighty warrior and lover of King Jesus. We can't wait to meet you "Little Hoot" on or around March 19th.
Now here we are, April 2011.....